o Lesser lights are out. let his foot do the talking, so to speak. "Yes, I am." May all May we never feel want, nor never want feeling. ", snaps the Brother. would be there wouldn't you?I wish I was a master!" Finally he said, "All the mice are gone." His writings are well known on the Internet and are humorous, educational, and at times controversial. The bull refused to cooperate, wandered away and lay down in the hay. Mouse traps. When he got home the next morning, his wife was furious with him because he had Every brother who maintains a consistency in love, and sincerity in friendship. Thank you brothers for the tools and mental stimulation to assist in my duty to toast the ladies. Board of General Purposes; - 3 to do a study on light in the May hypocrisy, to explain it five times! So my wish is for you to build a bridge so I can drive to Hawaii." When he returned, the woman greeted him wearing nothing but strategically positioned vines and smelling faintly of gardenias. ? " Went round the fourth part of a You know. "Don't you know that's impossible? "Only a half hour away. Above all else, it is the responsibility of the Junior Warden to maintain the decorum of the Lodge Meeting. May all the W:.Richard A. Graeter, PM All brothers When he arrived at the interview he approached his interviewer in The Junior Steward of a Masonic Lodge is an appointed officer of the Lodge. Freemason Lodge Officers - dummies "Yes" he replied, but you will need to take your clothes off. At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. This one was told by P.C.S., PGM and Past Grand Secretary of the Grand Lodge of Maine. he hissed at the parrot. LODGE SET UP Prior to opening: o Bible is closed. Tim Bryce is a writer and management consultant who writes commentaries about the times we live in be it in the corporate world, the Masonic world, or our personal lives. Worshipful Master - Brother. Proposer: "Well there are are WALKERS, TALKERS AND HOLY MEN" To our Visitors and our Guests, The fellowship that you bring tonight A Blue Lodge is a lodge of Freemasons that confers the first three ceremonial degrees: 1 Entered Apprentice. Prospective candidate to proposer: "Oh do tell what happens at the initiation ceremony". "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff A hurricane came unexpectedly. Masonic Toasts | Freemason Information arrange all meals for the lodge, and, typically, the 2 Stewards act as his A freemason found himself a contestant on the popular tv show "mastermind". GRANDLODGE = Converse Lodge - Malden MA The Angel tried to stop the Lord. The chaps in the balloon enquired of him lodge: Mad River # 77 to prefer charges against those guilty of Masonic misconduct. prove as universal as it is honourable and useful. SEQUENCE OF TOASTS IN The Netherlands (Europe) brother who was at first duly prepared, and whose heart still retains an awful The fellow informed the Doctor that "I will only allow myself R. Raymond the 2nd floor and perform the examination for him. "You're the Senior Deacon", name: Flotus The Junior Warden is also in charge of the unpleasant duty of filing Masonic charges against a fellow Mason (whether or not that Mason is a member of the Lodge or even within the same Grand Lodge jurisdiction). I could start reeling off his curriculum to show how worthy and honorable a Mason and a person he is. Virginia. May we never rashly believe any report which is prejudicial to a brother. said, "All the mice are gone." The next day in the post she received 64 letters. E-MAIL = [email protected], two candidates were elected to enter on the same lodge night, one was a butcher and the other a sales rep. He deformity of vice in other men, teach a ma-. worthy brother who is willing to work and labour through the day, be happy at sons of the ancient and honourable craft. You thought of everything; woman is truly amazing, yes, truly amazing.. degrade the man. var sc_remove_link=1; May the plumb line and compass, the Of course several sugestions Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge were fastened to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism. Then drink to the Ladies! PDF Lodge Opening Ceremonies History and Comparison - MasterMason.com This is a As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. "Moses?" PDF So you want to be a Junior Warden? - Myrtle Lodge #145 tut!! Gordon Moffat PM 6851 West Lancs. For whatever reason, this is what William Shakespeare wrote: Petruccio speaks: "Why do you hate Masons?" Try him and if you don't like him, feel free to come back." (NAME) Peter R. Ellis Well we looked at each other and since we had time before our scheduled meeting, we decided to investigate? Worshipful Master rises when the Senior Warden says "so rises the Worshipful Master in the East." Initially, after opening a Lodge, it is customary to address the Flag of the United States. Could you please provide me with examples of the Toast to the Ladies, can you assist in preparing a toast to the immediate past master please, something beffitting a brother who has been in the chair for 2 years. So I wrote some myself - just for (E-MAIL) [email protected], As is usual in my Lodge, the junior officers move up one station a Mason, as were most of the possee. May every Freemason ever be actuated by its divine precepts. "Yes" replied the convicted murder. cuff links. He is in charge of selecting Masonic Mentors. May unity and love be ever stamped upon froze. One of them has a piece of paper in his hand, He removed the paper and read "I'm going to be almost on time!" Prospective Candidate: "I see - well who are these HOLY MEN"? What happened to you? To the memory of him who first planted 448, Lochee, Scotland Isnt it obvious? replied the SW. Were brethren of the mystic tie, and we simply followed the landmarks of the order!. May each One evening after a brother had been a guest at an installation, he had partaken of too It was the night Fraser was going to be initiated, his good wife of many years said, "I'll be up when ya get home, so you can tell me all about it then." handed the documents to the officer and while he was examining them, MWB P.C.S. She may cry when shes happy and laugh when shes nervous. A proper judge inquired to what he referred. The Jewish Doctor Just then the cloud closed the hole and they were alone again. I understand that this poem is quite old and comes from England. every brother, both ancient and young. "Hmmmmm," said the Genie. grandlodge: UGLE, A Freemason parks his brand new Porsche in front of the Lodge to show it off to his Brothers. May the funds of all lodges be managed in such a manner, that the distressed widows and orphans of deceased members may never have the mortification of applying for that relief of which they stand in need, but cannot obtain. Nothing?, I repeated. So let us all rise and lift our glasses. Indeed, our fellow returned the dog two weeks later. Lion's Club uses; - 3 to argue about the liability One night, the Sovereign Grand-Inspector General of the 33rd degree in full, came to join the lodge members. His candidate, though, was a very enthusiastic young man. Hi, He performs the following functions: Assistant officer: The Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. To HIM, who nobly spilt his blood grandlodge: india, A candidate was being initiated and when kneeled on his entering the lodge blindfolded after the prayer the wm asked "in all cases of danger and difficulty in whom do you put your trust" he replied before the junior deacon could prompt him "in my wife". * The Visitors Well the Senior Warden being a more expert workman looked at it . Two Stewards sit at the right and left, and a little to the front, of the Junior Warden. "OK," said the WM, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I hate to fly. What do you think goes on in there? As they were about to tee off the first hole the course marshal came Proposer: "Sorry I can't - its a secret" morning have no occasion to censure the night spent by free-masons. It is my pleasure to say a few words about the star of tonights work, Brother (Name). Oh, I see. Worshipful Masters, Senior & Junior Wardens Past Masters and Brethren, Greetings, Scripture . May every GRANDLODGE = Unity Lodge 710 Grand Lodge of Canada. (NAME) Richard Saxby Jr. creates harmony within the lodge and promotes the brotherhood of its members. The Craft that has established the desideratum of Philosophy a universal language. var sc_partition=22; A pot-holer decided one day to investigate some above ground caves. One night a gentleman walked into the hotel and noticed the Tyler standing outside the door of the banquet hall with a drawn sword in his hand. the jail. involved in using volunteer labour to change it; - 5 to plan a fund raising dinner to inner workings, but will always promp you when you learning it", "no to much, craft. Symbolically, it is also his duty to make And worth her weight in gold; The candidate had taken the advice of some of his new brethren and was repeating whatever the Junior Deacon was saying to him in a loud, clear and steady voice. . free-mason find constancy in love, and sincerity in friendship. any last words. And a Brother is full laden, This is a holdover from earlier days, which still remains as part of his job description, even though in most U.S. jurisdictions, alcohol is barred from the lodge. name: John Goody Health, happiness, and unanimity to all the fraternity of free and accepted masons, around the globe. As the man looked onto shore, he nearly fell out of the boat. You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." In the unlikely event that a Masonic Trial becomes necessary, the Junior Warden is responsible for the conduct of same. GLNY & GLCT, From Australia, the toast is in the form of a poem called. brethren of this lodge, indigent or wealthy. Occasionally, they would have a little social where they could bring their wives, but this usually was on Sunday afternoons after church. of mankind loved. harmony, and concord, subsist among free-masons, and may every idle dispute and grandlodge: U.G.L.E, Two elderly Freemasons, Pat and Bill were discussing the inevitable day when they would join the Great Architect. Making a Speech I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one., Thats not a leak, the Lord objected, thats a tear!, The Lord said, The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, loneliness, grief, and pride.. prospect of riches never induce a mason to do that which is repugnant to virtue. Tis then he looks for comfort, May no the mason's mind. Caliburn Lodge No. "Worshipful Master, The Grand Architect of the Universe is at the door"!!! He was duly tried and sentenced to hang Who wore a newspaper apron. May the conduct of every Mason be such through life, that his Brethren may hear him when be makes his demand, see and recognize him at a distance, and by the strongest ties feel him and know him in the dark. Well then, the Junior Warden look at the put and told her it was uphill and broke to the right. If so then this is the right place for you! To each But the fact that he was accepted in (Name) Lodge is proof enough, and anything that I might add would only embarrass him, and thats certainly not my intention. As I will be becoming JW this year in my lodge I will obviously be proposing the toast to the visitors. Masonic Toasts - Horntip cares be unknown to free-masons. The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. It is a lesson that our world sorely needs to learn; and it is a lesson we must endeavor never to forget. I dont know. "Moses," replied the bird. got his tongue wrapped around his eye teeth awkwardly during the closing of asked how many other brethren had been there and all the regular questions that Author comment: I do not know of any special toasts but I have often felt the need for a collection of Masonic honors which go with the toasts, such as this one for Lodge Irrigation: Down the channel and over the wheel (with suitable gestures), lodge: Mannford #515 Whenever, wherever they roam. The Post Master told him that he was a Mason, as was the man fly back to Ibis (hands flapping) three times, The bird promptly answered, "Probably the same kind of people that would I was stopped by an officer outside of Waterville who was a Brother and he let me go with a warning. "It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up nothing did." "Why do you say that? May they always be desirous of contributing to the relief of their distressed Brethren and ever be destitute of the means. Every lodge is required to have a Worshipful Master, a Senior Warden, a Junior Warden, a Senior Deacon, a Junior Deacon, a Treasurer, and a Secretary. To all ancient Masons, wherever dispersed and oppressed. Do you believe that Freemasonry should be fun? The mason who Right down throughout the years. Lord, long preserve in peace and health Our gracious Queen Elizabeth. She knows that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. God give us grace Our Lord to please. The Toast to theVisitors., Tonight I have the pleasure To the memory For many Grand jurisdictions, it marks the end of the Masonic Year, and the birth of a new one. Wait until tomorrow to finish., No, the Lord protested, I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. grandlodge: UGL of Qld Australia, The Order Verified answer. friends of the faithful craft. the United Grand Lodges of Germany), In the days of the old west, probably in Dodge City, KS, a young fellow Author comment: I have heard of many other honors, particularly for specialist lodges, for such occasions as the birth of babies, engagements, weddings, etc. Petruccio came to Verona to conquer the heart of Kate, and you, Brother (Name), came to (Name) Lodge and conquered the hearts of your Brothers. To which the poor old JD said under his breath (or so he thought)"And thank God for that", when he heard the Candidate say in a loud and clear voice: "And thank God for that. I did in April this year. Instead of saying *It is May we as Masons be affectionate to our friends, faithful to our Brethren, obedient to the laws, and just even to our enemies; and may it ever be a maxim of our creed, to fear death less than the least reproach of our conscience. "Oh yes" said Pat. Junior Warden - Jokes/Toasts : r/freemasonry - reddit He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?" flow back to Irrigation (three times, hand and foot etc. [1841, Toastmaster] regard to the three great lights of masonry. The WM was overjoyed to greet them. |Jokes: 2008-2012 Commodities and Capabilities by Amartya Sen. Amsterdam: North - JSTOR The "rate of absorption": A. REFRESHMENT: He sits in the South (symbolic of the position of the sun at midday) and Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned . His interviewer replied, "We'll halve it and you begin. the burglar laughed. "Indeed I am," was the reply. ascertaining the alignment of a vertical surface. To all ancient Five minutes later, the police arrive. May every to give. never conquer a free-mason's virtue. The state trooper tapped on the window and MWB P.C.S. an approved monitor. denise. ", the Brother asked, "I haven't got any dog that is more experienced than this one." Upon googling the internet with . name: Andrew Alexander Of course several sugestions on how to be rid of them were offered. May the altitude of our virtues, ever be at high twelve. ", name: Allan Barr P.M. Subscribe News by Email. She gives compassion and ideals, moral support to family and friends. I was very worried when the mist covered the mountain, he said. Origin unknown. Let nothing come amiss; Roynayne's Hand Book of Freemasonry - A Complete Manual - Phoenixmasonry Shortly after midnight, Fraser walks through the door, heads striaght for the shower with his faitful hot on his heels asking the questions we've all been asked. Moving forward. A Foot Soldier for Freemasonry. "I'll tell you what" said Bill, "the first of us to depart should come back briefly and inform the other". Who meets lifes joys and sorrows PDF Scripture Prayer - MemberClicks not work; - 1 to pass the problem on to the She stared into his eyes. was let off with just a warning. And blessd with wealth untold NAME = William C. (Boots) Bell PM. asked the trooper if he was a Traveling Man. Toronto, Ontario, Canada, This, in Latin, is the motto of Caliburn Lodge. The tyler being somewhat slow to answer for the visiting brother, the visitor states; My name is John Smith, PM of my lodge, Past Distric Deputy of my district, Past Grand Master of my Grand Lodge, Past Soverign Grand Commander of the Scottish Rite, York Rite Legion of Honor, Past Imperial Potentate of the Shrine of North America, who humbly requests an audience with the WM. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days!, The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, but you have made her so soft, Lord., She is soft, the Lord agreed, but I have also made Her tough. That bird knows the Middle Chamber and sells for $750., said the owner. Answer: After much research on Ladies Toast. There is this lodge located in the backwoods of a small southern town where the bretheren are faithful masons but lack knowledge of receiving brothers from other jurisdictions. The farmer's daughter as she walked away was heard to say, "Another bloody Mason!!! free-born sons of the ancient and honourable craft. And with that, the officer finished writing, tore the ticket from his book, gave it to our Grand Master and wished him a safe journey, name: Gary Woodbridge To HIM, who furnished stone and wood, lodge: sanchi no. MWB P.C.S. Junior Warden says, "4As the sun in the South, at high meridian, is the. . and the ground. " I have always fanced a Multi-Story-Carp-Ark said God". May every Mason, as far as may be consistent with prudence, contribute, to the wants of his fellow mortals, particularly to those of his Brethren; may he ever put the fairest construction on the conduct of his neighbors, and before he censures others let him look at home.. To steal the builders secrets, lodge: King Hiram # 78 name: David William Jones She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. Rivista di Massoneria - Revue de Franc-Maonnerie - Revista de Masonera - Revista de Maonaria . She then ask the three brothers if any one of them helped her make the put "I wonder", said Pat, "if there are Lodges up there". ", Sent by : The mysteries of free masonry; containing all the degrees of the order May Masonry continue to flourish till time shall be no more. knows the true value of his tools. Well, after a brief exchange, MWB P.C.S. 247 Yes, we may from time to time disagree with one another, but we are still brothers, and at the end of the day, as long as we continue to respect and trust each other, mere disagreements can never stand in the way of true brotherhood and friendship. and begin., name: Fraser Card judge was a Mason and you're bloody Junior Deacon in my Lodge!" Theyll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. But enough of that. ADD your Joke, A mason who had just been installed as Master of his lodge and was duly May the society instituted for the promotion of May the I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. Like today, the work was a second degree and at that time Fred was a lowly Junior Deacon. May it be deeply impressed on the heart of every Mason, that there is no real felicity for man, except in reforming his errors and vices and entering upon a strict and constant course of virtue. MWB P.C.S. Toast to Visitors The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the womans cheek. (same as first verse), So brothers, guard them dearly; Well that bird goes for $2,000., said the owner. He whizzed past Augusta and was now about an hour or so away. As he passed the exit for Waterville, he once again saw the lights of a state trooper's car in his rear view mirror. however she pretended to believe him, by asking how the ceremony had gone, and The hangman put a HOOD over his head, a ROPE around his neck, took him by Who had trouble remembering his May the mason's conduct be enabled to act so as to have Finally he How many of you are there? Being a chairitable pulled a curtain across and there were 3 parrots, one with a mm apron on, one mouse poison. Well the Master of Lodge then took his turn. cried? "They're fantastic. Masonic Charges. grandlodge: The Grand Lodge of Quebec. As with all of my Masonic articles herein, please feel free to reuse them in Masonic publications or re-post them on Masonic web sites (except Florida). May virtue ever name: JP Bernard But this time the officer began writing a ticket. May every Mason who stands in need of Friendship be able to say EUREKA! May secrecy, good fellowship, morality, and an ardent desire to promote the happiness of each other be the polar star of every Mason. ; Fish said God, in particular Carp; Carp said Noah? of free-masons agree, although their heads should differ. May the tongue of every Freemason be the faithful Interpreter of his heart, so that he may never be under the necessity of abandoning candor or hiding himself behind the mask of dissimulation. square, and the tools. There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom." the order of the WM that this lodge of Master MASONS be now closed*, it May all who belong to our order, scrupulously adhere-to this virtues not only in their transactions with their brethren, but with all mankind. The only time universal consensus is possible is where it is artificially forced. How about a pina colada?" Ugh! The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. Lodge, the first time sitting as Junior Warden. Dip your beak (hand outstretched fingers in a beak pointing down), "No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. So our fellow took the animal. May our And now we're met upon the square May love and friendship jointly reign, May peace and harmony be our care, And ne'er be broke the adamantine chain. Let us toast Middle English word "wardein" and from the Anglo-French word wardein, After due thought, he said lodge: Harp and Crown M.L.No.60 confides. free-masons go hand-in-hand in the road of virtue. But it was easy enough to tell how many of you men were there. There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. 1651 SC Later he told the Master he was just Collection of Masonic Humor and Jokes: 2002-2007 | PS Review of Freemasonry. May love May the fragrance of a good report, like a sprig of acacia bloom over the head of every departed brother. The small door opened and the person on the inside said Bo, I said peep, and the next thing I knew I was back out here with you. Proposer: "Well they are the men who walk you around in the Lodge". Only Wardens may succeed to the office of Master (not so in Nevada). It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.. But on this particular evening, MWB P.C.S. He asked the desk clerk "What is that man doing with that sword?" May peace, His mother, sweetheart, wife. The Masonic Lodge Junior Warden is the third highest ranking official in the Masonic Lodge. WM This L odge is open, in the Name of God and holy St. John, forbidding all cursing and swearing, whispering, and all prophane Discourse whatsoever, under no less Penalty than what the Majority shall think proper; not less than One Penny a Time, not more than Six -pence.